


Comparison

by robronsugsy



Category: Emmerdale, robron
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-10
Updated: 2015-09-10
Packaged: 2018-04-17 04:21:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,248
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4652061
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/robronsugsy/pseuds/robronsugsy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Robert compares sex with Aaron & Chrissie.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Comparison

**Author's Note:**

> Based on a prompt: Maybe something where Robert is talking about sex with Chrissie and sex with Aaron, talking about how they're alike and different and how different sex has become with both of them.
> 
> Not really sure what I was going for with writing this, honestly it's probably a mess. Like, it might not even make a shred of sense :P I just wrote with this one, not even sure where half of it came from!

It wasn't exactly surprising it was one of the first things he missed. He'd took it for granted, got cocky (no pun intended), when he was sleeping with two people. He got the best of both worlds and he loved it. Some would probably call him a sexaholic, but it was never like that. He was satisfied with Chrissie, sure he was. He was just completely satisfied when he had Aaron too.

 

If you'd ask him back in December, if he had to use one word to describe sex with Chrissie, it'd be 'loving'.

If he had to use one word to describe sex with Aaron, it'd be 'fiery'.

 

He's not sure if he could say the same any more.

 

Of course there was the obvious differences; One was a man, one a woman. It was never going to feel the same even if at some point, his love for the pair of them was somewhat equal. There was a whole set of emotions with one compared to the other, which of course, changed over time.

 

Robert remembers the first time with Chrissie - at least he remembers the situation. He'd seen her in the office of course, he learned she was the boss's daughter. At first, it was something he shouldn't have - the daughter of a man who took him under his wing? It excited Robert. It excited him that she was someone he probably shouldn't have.

 

The bank balance didn't put a dampener on things either, that's for sure.

 

Their first time was nice. They'd been on a few dates, it was obvious to Robert Chrissie wasn't one of those girls who dropped her knickers for anyone. She was older than him, more mature - already emotionally bruised by former partners. It was a chase he was happy to take. It was their third date and after a particular fancy meal, Chrissie had agreed to go back to his apartment, him dropping the cheesy line of getting a 'coffee' and she played along. Robert figured she just wanted to be treated like a lady - he was happy to be the gentleman.

 

The sex was... great. They both knew what they were doing. Robert took it slow, letting her guide his speed, his rhythm, his power. Now he looked back, Chrissie took control of their relationship straight away. Neither made a lot of noise, neither cursed expletives when Robert sped up his pace, when his thrusts hit harder. Chrissie whimpered and moaned sure enough, but she never lost herself in the moment. Robert was just trying to please her, gauge her reaction to certain movements, thrusts. He was always a people pleaser when it counted - and ensuring Chrissie enjoyed it, wanted this to happen again, was what he wanted. He held back a bit, nothing worse than an overly excited first time lover to ruin the mood. He held in his moans, his words. The flame had ignited and it was a case of Robert keeping it like that. Taking their time, making it count. Getting her where she needed to go, making sure she felt wanted - no, _needed_. His mind was telling him what he had to do, what he had to give, to make her want him, again and again.

 

After that, their sex just got better. When more dates came, when they became more comfortable. How the sex played out depended on her - when she wanted it hard, or rough, or felt felt a particularly dirty. Chrissie had got him where she wanted him and he was happy to oblige. They became just like one of those new couples - sex whenever they wanted, hungry for one another. Robert loved it and it fed his ego to know he was good, that he made her feel the way he did. He made the effort, and it paid off...

 

... he got to marry her didn't he?

 

But even despite all that, his sexual appetite was just... too strong. Even in the ecstasy of an orgasm, side by side breathing heavily next to Chrissie, there was something missing. Something he craved.

He could control the craving mostly - his growing feelings of love, contentment, security for and from Chrissie all filling him and taking its place. But... that could never last too long. There would be times when it just sprung up on him in the middle of the day, the sudden urge to want more, to crave something different.

 

The first time with a man was before Chrissie. He's always tried his best to forget about it. When he was still young, still impressionable, still vulnerable. He met a guy who wanted to know his problems, wanted to help him. Robert needed comfort, the body of someone and the guy was in the right place at the right time. But Robert was too new, to unfamiliar. It wasn't necessarily the lack of experience with a man - which up to that point had been none - it was the lack of want. Wanting a man was never what he thought that craving was... he never could put his finger on what exactly the craving was. It was just _more_.

In the end, that first time ended quickly. He came too fast when his chest tightened and his mind wanted him to leave. He let his orgasm loose not because he was over excited but because he wanted out of the situation. In the man's embrace he felt wrong, felt out of his comfort zone, his depth. He came over his fist and left quickly, finding himself acting drunker than he was and played it off as a drunken situation. He hadn't thought about it much after that.

 

But the craving always came back. And he'd go back to men for more. Mostly, because he had felt that craving disappear when he was in the presence of that first guy, it just everything else toppled on top of him while they were in that moment, naked, chest-to-chest, dick grazing dick. The more men he slept with, the more he felt that craving disappear.

 

With Chrissie, that craving was non-existent... at first. His love for Chrissie grew and his need to sleep with others lessened. He truly loved her, more than most.

 

But what was that love? Was it natural, instinctive?

Or was it just because he wanted to?

Wanted to love her. Wanted that, normality of loving a woman. Not fucking up. Chrissie offered him a life he could lead proudly. One his _dad_ , could look at from the heavens (or in Robert's mind, the depths of hell) and smile. _Look at me dad, I'm successful and normal_.

 

But it had come back. When he returned to his roots, his home town of Emmerdale. He had what he wanted - his family were proud (the ones he cared about at that time, Victoria & Diane), people he didn't even know looked at him with a form of respect (usually mixed with hatred, loathing, jealously, but still - a form of respect too).

 

 Maybe that's why Aaron became so desirable.

 

With Aaron, it wasn't easy. Robert couldn't just look at Aaron and have him at his feet, he couldn't look at Aaron and get respect back automatically. Aaron didn't care who or what he was, the business man who lived in the big house - that didn't phase him. When he looked back, Robert supposed Aaron saw right through him the moment he met him. Maybe not totally, but somewhat. Aaron made Robert work for his acknowledgement, his friendship, _his love_. And in return, made him work to get his respect, trust, loyalty. 

 

Robert remembers handing Aaron a coffee, the promise of a new start and a new friendship - but Aaron didn't happily accept. And that disappointed Robert...

...but it got him rock hard too.

 

Aaron challenged everything Robert ever knew. He rebelled against him, he pushed him, insulted him, glared at him with no regard, and Robert _loved_ it. Aaron was the chase Robert couldn't bare to pass up. He wanted that sense of accomplishment and pride, that he, Robert Sugden, got Aaron Livesy, the village sulk, on his knees, begging for him, to taste his cock, feel him inside him (of course, this sense of accomplishment would be aware to only himself).

 

So the chase was on, and Robert was already running.

 

With Aaron, sex was effortless; Robert didn't have to try too hard - once he got Aaron, that first time on the edge of the road, he had him. And he could continue having him - on his back, on his knees, arse in the air, cock leaking - Aaron was his. From the very start, Robert could get Aaron spilling his seed from just his mouth, his tongue, his fingers. That was just natural, with any guy it'd be the same.

But that was it wasn't it? - he didn't have to try very hard... yet everything in him wanted to. Wanted to get that out of Aaron even if he gave it willingly. He wanted to be the one to get him climaxing, get him moaning and begging for more - not because he was a man, but because he, Robert, was what Aaron wanted, and it was Aaron _he_ wanted, more than he had any other man.

 

In hindsight, that's where he went wrong - he made Aaron want _him,_ and not just his body.

 

The first time with Aaron was filled with so much; so much adrenaline, lust, _fear_. Just like with Chrissie, it was something he shouldn't have, yet now _had_. He bathed in his reward, the hot warmth of Aaron's breath against his neck, his rough lips on his own, his gruff moans in his ear, his pulsating cock against his thigh, his taut muscles against his stomach, the list could go on. There wasn't one part of Aaron Robert hadn't already craved. Taking a handful of flesh in his hand, feeling Aaron writhe and squirm beneath him, Robert felt powerful. He felt like a king and Aaron was his crowning glory.

 

But then he remembers looking into Aaron's eyes.. something so intimate that he shouldn't of done it, yet when they caught one another's gaze they were locked on. Robert saw hate and pain, but lust too. Robert knew Aaron _hated_ him as much as he wanted him; Robert felt the same. They hated how good it felt, how good _they_ felt, together. He didn't have to hold back, there was no need to. There was no need to keep Aaron hanging on - after all, Robert initially told himself it'd be a one off, he wouldn't need to make an impression that got Aaron wanting more. But again, that was it wasn't it? The feeling of not having to hold back, not pretending, not hiding anything, it caused everything to spill out. The want, the hunger, the thirst for one another. Aaron sung like a canary when Robert thrust in him, he pushed for more, and Robert gave it. Robert let himself totally go and within that, he gave a bit of himself to Aaron that he never intended.

 

But he'd never get it back.

Aaron would always have a piece of Robert, even from the very first time.

 

 

Robert saw the change - he ignored it, but he saw it. He saw it when his post-coital bliss with Chrissie would turn from a cloud of haze, to thoughts of the other man. When his eyes shut tightly as he thrust into her, his visions weren't of her - they were of him. How his fiery touch, which once danced alongside the smooth skin of Chrissie's body was nothing but a candle light now. How he felt her and all he felt was a pang in his chest, an emptiness - no muscles, no scars, no hair, _no Aaron_. Robert had seen what sex with Chrissie had become. He denied it, in a way only Robert Sugden can. He played his part, he played the giving husband, the lustful husband, the hungry husband. The one who looked like he couldn't get enough of her, wanted her every minute they had alone. But he had already seen it. Sex with Chrissie was nothing more than a distraction, a coping mechanism. To deal with the feelings of longing for the other man, to deal with the pain he felt when they parted, or when they fought. When Aaron told him he'd not be hearing from him again. Robert wasn't blind to that fact - how every time he'd been with Aaron, he'd run back to her, just to even things out. To deal with the feelings.

 

Cause that's kind of how he saw it - Aaron was the hot boiling water, the one that could scold him, hurt him, scar him if he let it boil completely - Chrissie was the cold water, the one that could soothe him, calm him down, and bring him down from the heat, away from pain.

 

And while sex with Chrissie had turned into a distraction, sex with Aaron had turned into something more.

 

Robert could draw you a diagram of Aaron's body - every scar placement, both inflicted and inherited. Every birth mark, every patch of hair, every freckle, blemish, the lot. He could do it with his eyes closed. He could pick Aaron's body out of a line-up of a million guys. Aaron's body was intoxicating and Robert yearned for the poison. Even as sex hungry as he was, Robert had never been turned on like he was with Aaron. Aaron's body twitched, moved, writhed, in ways that Robert couldn't even describe. It was enchanting, it was mesmerizing. There'd be times where Robert would just watch the muscles in Aaron's body tense, the hairs on his body stand on end. It was like one of his favourite movies - he'd never get tired of it. Robert never truly believed that you could be that content with one person before - he sure hadn't been. The flame you might once have for someone surely would burn out at one point. But it hadn't with Aaron - not yet anyway. The flame was burning away, hot and full as ever.

 

All his senses were struck by Aaron: Aaron tasted like the earth, he tasted like sweat and _man_. He tasted like how Robert wanted to feel. Powerful. Strong. If Robert could bottle the way Aaron smelled he would. For someone who loved the spice, the fragrance of an expensive aftershave - he sure loved something so simple as natural as Aaron. Aaron wasn't plied with perfumes, chemicals. He was just natural.

And the way he sounded? Damn. Robert's body shivered when Aaron whispered in his ear, in that gruff, low voice of his. The way he moaned, groaned, shouted, screamed, laughed, cried. Everything. It spurred him on more and more, Aaron wasn't just the voice of reason, the voice in his head that spoke to him at night telling him how wrong it was he was thinking of him, so wrong that he wasn't with him in that moment, he was Robert's motivation. Aaron told him to go harder he would, told him to stop he'd freeze. Heck, even Aaron's muffled screams into Robert's hand when they fucked in Aaron's room, just metres away from everyone, Robert was hooked.

 

Everything about Aaron turned him on, again and again. Instinctively. Naturally.

 

Maybe that's why the feelings came so easily - they _were_ natural.

 

And as much as the sex was fiery, it was passionate, it was _intimate_. Robert remembered the first time in the hotel, the first time he gave himself to Aaron. Before, Robert took Aaron whichever way he wanted him, sticking his cock in without much care if it was too much too soon, if it stung or if Aaron wasn't quite ready. But Aaron got off on that, on how Robert wanted to hurt him. Because, Robert suspected Aaron knew what he was doing - if he hurt Aaron, Aaron wouldn't want anything else. He wouldn't want more of Robert.

 

But Aaron knew pain, he could handle pain. And the fact Robert would and could hurt him - that didn't stop him wanting Robert.

 

But the first hotel changed all that. No need to rush. They had all the time in the world. Robert remembered peeling Aaron's jacket from him, slow. He remembers the confusion in Aaron's eyes, how he knew that this wasn't how they did it. Robert stared at Aaron as he unbuckled his belt, pulled down his trousers. How he unbuttoned his shirt, pulled it off. Undressed them both, until they were in nothing but boxers and taking him to bed - _hand in hand_.

 

Robert raised the speed, raised the heat - and not because he wanted it to be over already - he just _wanted_ it. He remembers kissing the skin of Aaron's neck, then his chest, his navel, the inside of his thighs, peeling down his boxers and watching Aaron hungrily swallow and stare right back at him. How Robert took Aaron's hard length in his mouth, slowly. Letting Aaron see his pleasure as he tasted his cock, bathing in the taste, the feel. And in turn, Aaron gave him the contortions of his face, his moans, his groans. How he pulled himself away reluctantly, but only that reluctance disappeared as he craved Aaron's lips, the feel of his skin beneath his hands. Kissing, licking, sucking, biting Aaron's plump red lips. How he fisted Aaron's cock, as he breathed against his mouth. How Aaron kissed his neck, bit his ear gently, peppered kisses down his throat and took his nipples between his teeth. How he kissed wet, open mouthed kisses down Robert's chest, marking him not with bruises and bite marks but actual DNA, the mark that no one could see but them. How Aaron teased him, goaded him into craving nothing but Aaron's warm mouth around his cock; making him jerk his hips up into his mouth just to feel the back of his throat. How Aaron swallowed him down, causing Robert to become weak, vulnerable - in a way only Aaron could make him. Whimpering and almost crying in ecstasy.

 

Robert remembers pulling Aaron close, kissing him tenderly, gently, _lovingly_ and whispering in his ear that he wanted him, wanted him inside him.

 

He remembers Aaron's eyes fill with lust at the surprise request.

 

Robert remembers Aaron opening him up, slowly, making him relax, making him feel _safe_. Making him feel like he was ready, because he was, for Aaron to have him, at least in this way, for now. He remembers Aaron entering him, the quick jolt of discomfort before relaxing and letting Aaron enter him. Aaron never rushed, he never asked for any more than Robert gave. And Robert gave himself to Aaron.

 

That was something Chrissie could never give him, in no respect. She couldn't give him this kind of safety. Not the security of a house, a job, a family, but the actual feeling of being safe. Robert felt _safe_ with Aaron - no matter how scared, in denial, he was at times, he could never deny how Aaron kept him so comfortable. It was just a shame he hadn't realized that the safety of Aaron would only be given if it was given back - something which Robert had neglected to realize until it was too late. When he'd lost him.

 

 

If you asked him now, if he could use one word to describe sex with Chrissie, it'd be "a distraction"

 

If you asked him to describe sex with Aaron...

 

 

 

 

It'd be "everything".


End file.
